THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
