Your tits are I can't wait for
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
