You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
