My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Randomize
