drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
