this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Use "feeling words"
Yay
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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