the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
