then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
