I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
