Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
