you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
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