If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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