How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
