Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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