Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
