he wants to bone in the snuggie
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
