I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
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