OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Randomize
