My hair reeks of homosexuality.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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