Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
