oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize