The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
