It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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