Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
