Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
