so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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