You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Randomize
