Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
