He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
