Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
