i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
