those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
