Well douche your snatch and let's go!
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
