why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Randomize
