I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Naked. naked and bneed help.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Randomize
