Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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