found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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