please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
