If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
