YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
