i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
