white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
