just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
