Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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