I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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