He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
