plz talk dirty to me
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
