if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I want to fling myself into the sun
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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