Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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