The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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