so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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