Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
My ATM looks so different sober.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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