everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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