and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize