Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize
