I just pynch a tree in the face
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize
