i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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