We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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