I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize