after a month anything with tits is on the radar
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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