? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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