Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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