i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
