yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize