I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize