I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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