six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize