I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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