i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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