Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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