Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
