Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize