Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
We're using joints as your birthday candles
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
