I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
