is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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