I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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