I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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