I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize