Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Drake has all the answers
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
