Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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