For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
