weddingsv make me drug and hornr
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
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