I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
