He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
