She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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