dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
